Story starters.

The Mystery of the Black Magic Case.

He slowly took it out, and saw it, it was a blueish rock with some shining stars on it.  He remembered of the black magic case he bought the day before at a magic convention.  He thought where he could  be. Suddenly he heard some noises and went out to see what it was .  When he realised what he was seeing he thought he was crazy, it was a red tunnel going in circles like a time machine.  When he realised of what he was seeing, he grabbed the magic case and read the instructions that said,¨Be carefull with the stone or in time you will loose¨.  He didn't understand what that meant, but he grabbed the stone and threw it.  He didn't recognise what he was seeing. He was in a dark, scary place.  Suddenly he saw the shining stone and he threw it again.  Suddenly he was in a cementery, he saw a dead man lying on the floor  with blood all over his body, then he realized that that dead man was him.  He felt sad and not sure of anything.  He had to have some evidence, he read the instructions again. They said,¨ If you see yourself lying dead be careful you have to find someone with the same magic case as you¨ . 

He walked all along the town but he didnt find anything.  But then he realised he was missing one house, in other words it was the palace of the most millionary people in all New York city, but he didnt think  they would like magic.  He entered with no time to waste, he looked all over the place except in a locked room.  He didnt know where to find the key, but then he heard someone talking about a key, so he followed him.  He saw something shining on a red pillow, so he walked to take a closer look.  There it was in front of his eyes lay the key, he grabbed it quickly and ran to the locked room. Shining over the bed was the magic case, he took the instructions that said,

¨Once you found the case get the rock and go back to the cementery¨.  He picked the rock and rushed back to the cementery, he didnt see the body, but he saw a black car with many bodies. He quickly realised that those two men were thieves.  He followed them to a little house in the middle of the forest.  When the thieves got out to have dinner, he took the car and his body and went back to the cementery.  He placed the body on the old tree and read the instructions again,¨ When you have the body on the same place it was, throw the stones, on your bodies head,and repeat the words "MASTER AND LORD PLEASE TAKE ME AND MY BODY HOME.¨ A flash light appeared and took him and the body home and put them as one again. He was alive, he started running, talking, jumping and shouting until his mother came and asked him, what was happening. He told her it was just a dream, an ugly dream.  He didn't want to FRIGHTEN his mom but that was the only way, now he has to throw that magic case, and enjoy life as a man, and keep what happened as a secret.  That was the only way he would survive.

                                                    END.

OLIVIA: A GOOD IDEA, IT'S MORE A FANTASY STORY THAN A MYSTERY/DETECTIVE STORY. BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR PAST TENSES!!!

DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT THE USE OF COMMAS, FULL STOPS? PLEASE IF YOU DO, RE READ YOUR STORY AND CHECK PUNCTUATION.

CHECK SPELLING MISTAKES!

MISS ALE: I FINISHED CORRECTING.

Better Olivia but there were still some mistakes with the verbs. remember to divide your story into paragraphs!